Scattered Pieces
by OddCloud
Summary: I was sick of wiping tears away from my pale cheeks, I was sick of feeling that pain in my chest every time he flashed in my mind. Why was I feeling this way? I thought I knew my heart, but I am just beginning to really listen to its whispers...


**Please read until the end. Thank you! Keep in mind it's my first attempt at writing a fanfiction in the Inuyasha category. Enjoy! :)**

**

* * *

Scattered Pieces**

I watched numbly as wind blew outside my window, bending branches of the trees and moving clouds across the sky. It was silent, too silent. Even the air I was breathing seemed raspier and colder than usual, burning my throat as I inhaled shakily. I couldn't stay in that room any longer.

My hand brushed the grass beside me, feeling it tickle my palm. Closing my eyes, I felt a shiver run down my spine. Him, the face that I was trying so hard to burry in the back of my mind, flashed in front of my eyes the second I closed them. I was sick of the burning sensation in the corner of my eyes every time I saw his face, the face that never ceased to appear form my memories. I was sick of wiping fresh sets of tears from my pale cheeks.

I stood up and brushed away the superficial layer of dust off my blue skirt. I wanted to get away from that tree but my legs didn't move an inch. I felt an ache in my chest as my finger tips traveled along the bruise of the sacred tree.

I blinked away the tear sitting in the corner of my eye. I was weak; I couldn't stop the water droplets from cascading from my eyes, one by one. My mother was worried about me, so was my grandpa and even my brother. I was just a shadow of the person that I once was, I couldn't deny it, I couldn't play along this time like everything was perfect, not even for the sake of the ones around me.

I decided to get away from the shrine for a while, maybe _this time_ it will do some good. With not much enthusiasm, I walked back into the house, ignoring the pitiful looks my family gave me. I was getting better at ignoring those poorly hidden glances.

I washed my face with cold water, hoping the redness that surrounded my eyes would go away. I wouldn't have bothered to change my clothes if it wasn't for the weather. September quickly took its place, dropping the temperatures within a week. I walked out of my room dressed in a pair of jeans with my knee length, cream jacket. I took my black converse even quicker, and for the first time in months I was eager to get out of the house. I couldn't handle the veil of emotions that gathered in that place.

I started to descend the stone stairs, counting them one by one to keep my mind occupied. Yet, my mind took off to other places and I was at the bottom of the stair case with the number 20 stuck in my head, which was not even a quarter of how many steps there were.

The wind blew softly, ruffling my hair slightly. It was warm, which surprised me because the air was still cold after it traces my cheeks. I stuck my hands in the pockets of my jacket and moved forward. It was early in the morning, probably around nine, I didn't bother to look, all I know is that I woke up at five a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep afterwards.

My favorite shop came by. I was thrown around between decisions, to go in or just pass by and continue my walk. I decided to go in. The bell rang familiarly as I opened and closed the door. It was empty. I inhaled deeply, and the scent of new books made me relax. The old woman working at the library just glanced at me from the back room, smiled and went back. I was going there so often that I almost couldn't be called a customer.

I wandered between the familiar bookshelves, my eyes seeking for anything new. I killed time by burying myself in books. I read more in those few months than in all my high school years.

The books were the same as the day before, more or less a few volumes from the non-fiction category, but I wasn't really interested in those. Yet, one book caught my eye. It was covered in something similar to leather, dark green colored leather. I took it off the self and scanned through it. One title caught my eye

"The Legend of The Jewel of Four Souls…" I whispered, the tip of my finger caressing the letters. My breath tripped in my throat and I felt my eyes widen.

'_It is said there was a powerful jewel. A battle has been held for it…'_ my eyes skipped through the paragraphs. _'Nobody found a trace of this jewel beside popular stories. There are more versions but a particular one mentioned that the jewel granted one wish and with the correct one, it will vanish from the world. It is said that one warrior obtained the jewel in the end, and this particular character is present in many versions of…'_

I shut the book with much more force than I intended and placed it on the shelf, catching the title just briefly. "_Japanese Legends_". The moment I read about the warrior, my mind jumped straight to him and I couldn't stand the pain in my chest.

"Is there anything I can help you with, Kagome?"

Her voice made me turn around sharply but she just smiled. I merely shook my head and leaned against the shelf.

"No, thank you. I'm just looking around today." I was surprised at how steady my voice was.

"Very well then." She smiled one last time before going back in the store room.

I headed to the exit, making my way out in the street once more. I continued to walk down the alley, yet, I was heading nowhere. I started to head back home. _Home_… That word ceased to offer me that warm and cozy feeling, that safety you wouldn't feel anywhere else. It was just plain word, without meaning now, at least for me. I still felt cold, whether I was in the street or in my room, and I'm not talking about temperature. I felt lonely.

A weave of heat went through my body. It was in the wind, something tickled the skin of my neck, like fingers tracing lines, playing with my dark and messy locks of hair. I noticed I froze in the middle of the sidewalk and quickly resumed my pace.

I suddenly didn't feel lonely anymore.

I skipped up the stone staircase, not bothering to count my steps; my mind was too busy trying to control the shivers that traveled in my body, from head to toe. It started raining, but instead of running in the house, like a normal and sane person would do, I sought shelter under the sacred tree. Speaking of being sane, I fell out of that category. I wasn't really living my life anymore, at least moping around didn't classify as that in my book.

My mind was spinning in useless circles, I could say, and what's worse? It was dragging my heart along. I allowed my numb body to fall against the tree's trunk. I could've cared less about my jacket getting dirty in that moment.

I was afraid to shut my eyes. If I did, his face would invade my thoughts. I remembered every detail about him. What sane person did that? What person moped around every day, feeding their heart with long gone memories that only broke the few un-shattered pieces left? Well, I did.

Even though I knew all these things, I couldn't avoid them. And so, I did it again. I closed my eyes and felt my chest shake as sobs escaped my throat and fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. That tiny particle of sanity I had left vanished in the teardrops that never ceased to fall. I couldn't bring myself to believe it was all over, that I'll never see him again or hear his voice… I couldn't get over it, I simply couldn't. Or better said I didn't want to?

The wind ruffled my hair once more. I tried to stop the tears, wiping my cheeks in a fast movement.

"Shh…"

I chose to ignore the slight whisper in my ear. It was just plain wind. I kept my eyes closed, with my chin resting on top of my knees. And then I heard it again. My breath choked in my throat second time that day, making me abruptly open my eyes. I knew I must have completely lost my mind since I could hear his voice ringing in my ears as a silent whisper of reassurance.

Despise the rain falling, I stood up and headed to the house. I left my coat on the hanger and went in the living room. It was quiet and it should've been, since grandpa was gone to friend to play chess and Sota was at school. I lay on the carpet and watched the blank ceiling above. I just stood like that for a while, doing nothing aside of breathing and blinking.

I heard footsteps but I didn't bother to look.

"Kagome?"

My mother's voice woke me up to reality. I glanced at her, biting my lower lip, trying to stop it from trembling. My mother left the groceries on the ground, by the door, and kneeled by me. She took me into her arms and I let the tears fall, making no attempt to wipe them away.

She kept whispering in my ear, stroking my hair, keeping me in her arms. I felt like a child once again, but this time her words didn't sooth my soul, they didn't stop the tears from falling. I just sobbed in her shirt. His voice was ringing in my ears, again. I cried harder, felling my body trembling.

I kept going on like that for around fifteen minutes, if not more, my sobs slowly dieing out. My mother was rocking me back and forth, and I blankly stared at the wall in front of me.

There were many reasons as to why I cried. One of them is that I needed to let my emotions out, too much has gathered on my soul, other is that my mother could not sooth me, it hurt to know she couldn't heal this wound… and then because he wasn't there. I was a mess and it was just because he wasn't there.

"My baby, what happened?" she whispered in my ear.

I felt a new set of tears ready to come out. I couldn't control my body anymore.

"It hurts, mama. It hurts so much…" I let out a sob and buried my head in her shirt again.

She didn't say anything. She didn't say she understood how I felt, she didn't say everything will be alright, she didn't say I'll heal. Strangely enough, that was the perfect answer for me.

"Look at me." She told me and I glanced up at her. She took my face in her hands and smiled sadly "I'm not going to say it will not hurt, because it will hurt, those wounds never really heal, but you need to be strong and move on. It's the right thing to do. He wouldn't want you to waste your life by crying all the time."

She kissed my forehead and stood up.

"Go and take a bath, it will help you relax a bit."

With that I was left alone, though I didn't need anything more. I took her advice and moments later I was in the bathroom, filling the bath tub with water. I stripped off my clothes and stepped in. Mom was right; the warm water relaxed my muscles. I wished it had the same effect on my mind.

I just stood like that for a while, leaving the warm liquid to heat my cold body. But time passes by and you can't do anything about it, the once warm water slowly turned cold and I finished my bath.

I stepped out in the hallway dressed in a pair of black sweat pants and my favorite blue t-shirt. My damp locks hung loosely on my back, but I didn't mind. I took a habit of leaving my hair to dry by its own, this habit found its root in the past, when I met him.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and continued my walk down the stairs. Sota and Grandpa weren't at home yet. Somehow I felt relieved.

A red mug was waiting for me on the kitchen table, slightly steaming. My mother just finished washing the plates and took her own cup, joining me at the table. I took a small gulp of the hot liquid and instantly regretted it. I let out a squeak, feeling like my tongue was made of sand and like my throat caught fire as the tea made its way down to my stomach. My mom just chuckled and shook her head. I glared at her but that glare soon turned into a smile.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

It was a simple question yet it raised so many more. How did she know me so well? Well, she was my mother after all, but still, not every mother knows what's in her daughter's head. Yet, mine knew, she knew too well.

"I… I don't know."

She paused and took a small sip from her cup.

"What do you not know?"

That was a good question. To be honest, I wasn't certain of anything at the moment, not even of my own sanity. I graduated a few months prior, but I didn't apply to any college. Me, who made plans twenty years ahead, yet _he_ happened and it turned my world upside down.

"I don't know anything…" I mumbled while staring blankly at the rain outside.

"What do you feel now?"

Quite a simple question.

"I feel lost…" the words stumbled off my lips and I inhaled deeply "I feel thorn, sad, pessimistic, alone, cold…" I paused, inhaling shakily "…empty."

"Why do you feel that way?"

That was a tricky one.

"I don't know… I just want to wake up, for it all to be a nightmare and him to be sitting on my window's frame, smirking down at me… like he always did when I was here…" I whispered the last part, his face appearing in my mind.

"How do you feel when you remember him?"

"Pained." I answered simply in a choked voice.

"Is that all?"

I furrowed my eyebrows together. I didn't understand where she wanted to get with this. I shiver traveled down my spine and yet another tear made its way down my cheek. I've been crying a lot, I just then noted. But she was right… was pain all I was feeling? His gentle eyes made their way out of my memories, his voice ringing in my ears. I felt warm, I felt happy, I … I felt the need to reach out and touch his face to know he's there. I knew he wasn't.

"I don't know what I feel. I feel warm and happy when I see him and overwhelmed with a feeling I can't describe…" My head was spinning.

"Say it." She said simply, with a sad smile.

"I… I love him." I was shocked at my own words. They slipped so easily off my lips. I felt like a rock was lifted from my chest. "I love him." I said again.

My mother got up from the chair, kissed my forehead and walked out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I felt even less sane now. I felt my heart picking up speed and my breathing increasing. I loved him, why did it feel so… so special to say it out loud?

It was still raining outside. I felt calm, at least calmer than I was the previous morning. I felt the urge to run out of the house, so I did. I didn't care I'd get so wet that the water would reach my skin or that cold shivers will take over my body. I ran through the rain but my body felt like it was on fire. I opened the gate of the well's house with much more force than necessarily. My feet hammered down the wooden stairs, heading straight for the well. I haven't been there in a long while, I haven't even touched that door in years.

I gripped my hands on the edge, that familiar feeling invading my body. I cried again.

"Why?" I cried out with a power I didn't know I had "Why?"

I dropped my glance to the ground and closed my eyes. The tears fell on my hands and I didn't even acknowledge them. I let all my emotions out. All my anger, sadness, loneliness… the frustration I didn't know was inside of me.

"Why did it have to be this way? Why?" My voice was raspy and tired. I needed him to be there and yell at me for running out in the rain while dressed in thin clothes. I needed him to just be there…

"I love you! I love you, you big idiot! I love you and I didn't even tell you!" I screamed and felt how my voice was dieing out. My throat was burning and I was choking in sobs. He didn't magically appear in front of me, it was plain stupid. But, then again, why did my soul linger to the hope of something so impossible? Something so childish?

They say that at young age you don't know what love is… Then tell me, how came that four years later, the feeling is still there? I loved him all along, and I didn't know. Now I knew, but it was too late.

I slammed my fist in the wood, ignoring the physical pain. I was angry at fate, at destiny, at everything out there that made my life go this way.

I jumped inside the well, landing in the dirt. I smiled in a sarcastic kind of way at how pathetic I was. I could see him reaching out his hand for me, bringing me into his arms. I raised my glanced up only to see the wooden roof of the shelter. I shattered my soul once more, or at least what remained of it, for pieces of memories, pieces of pure fiction made up by my own mind.

I rushed out in the rain and headed straight towards the scared tree. I found myself caressing the bruise that arrow left once more, the arrow I pulled out. I collapsed at the base of the tree, hugging my knees to my chest. Then it went again.

"Shhh…" the wind brushed against my cheek, caressing my damp locks of hair.

I gave in this time. I stopped myself from analyzing what was happening. I just closed my eyes and felt the wind caressing my cheek again. I was breaking myself even more just for a glimpse of my memories of him.

"Kagome!" my desire altered the call into his husky voice, yet through my blurry sight I could see my mother rushing towards me with a blanket. I didn't know why the blanket was necessary, I was feeling warm, too warm.

Ignoring my moments of pure insanity, I followed my mother inside. She let me change my clothes, which I put on with unusual clumsiness. I drank another mug of tea with a pill my mother gave me and I snuggled into the covers. I was back in my room.

Now I know why I was acting the way I did. Mom said I stayed an hour or more in the rain. I got a high fever the whole night, though I slept through it all. I felt bad because my mother had to take care of me, yet I felt stupid for doing something as reckless as that. It all made sense on how I heard his voice even though it was just the wind.

I was feeling a little better towards the evening. My mother made me stay in bed all day and I couldn't stand my room anymore. I needed to move my legs. It was cloudy outside, yet I took a pair of capris and a t-shirt as clothes. Very smart considering I had fever all night, right?

I sneaked out of the house and went straight for the sacred tree. Strangely enough, I wasn't seeking anything but comfort. And that spot at the base of the tree, gave the exact thing I was looking for. I just stayed and watched as the clouds moved across the sky. The previous day seemed to be distant, like it happened long before; I could have mistaken it for a dream.

I was calm, sad but calm. I didn't feel that urge to cry and I was glad I walked over that step.

"_It will never heal…_" mom's words kept echoing in my head and I wondered if I'll ever be the person I once was.

Something rushed through my body, like a spark. It was fast and it left me numb, like a stone, with my breath stuck in my throat. I was… called to the well house… but why? I didn't want to go. I kept telling myself that I'd end up a bigger mess than I was the day before. Yet, my legs already took me to the place I wanted to keep away from.

I stepped in carefully and slowly, my steps barely echoed as I climbed down the few stairs. I closed my eyes and reached out for the wooden edge. Warm wind brushed my face… from where? I opened my eyes and froze. Instead of the dirty bottom of the well I saw bright blue sky.

A hand reached out form behind me and wiped away the tears that fell from my eyes. I didn't notice I've been crying.

"Mama…" I whispered.

She smiled and hugged me. She had tears in her eyes.

"Make me proud."

That was all she said and I didn't need more. I hugged her tight before she took my head in her hand and kissed my forehead for what would be the last time.

I jumped in the well for the last time. I didn't know what caused it to open again but I wasn't complaining. It all happened fast, too fast. I stood in the well price a few moments. I simply didn't know what to do. I was on the other side, in the past, but what if he didn't want me there anymore? What if he moved on? What if he didn't need to move on, as if he didn't feel anything for me?

I raised my eyes and there he was, the man I though I'd never see again. His arm was reaching out for me. Was this another dream cause by high fever? Would I wake up in my bed again, and feel my hart thorn? I let out a shaky breath before taking his hand in mine. His hand was warm. I was pulled out of what once was a door between worlds. Now, it was just a simple well.

It wasn't a dream. I inhaled deeply, his scent invading my senses. It was really him, no more memories or hallucinations. It was the real thing and I couldn't believe it. Minutes ago I was in my own time… and now I was in his arms.

He hugged me tight to his chest. I didn't want him to let go. It felt too good to be there, surrounded by his arms and warmth. He slid a finger under my chin and made me look up at him. I had tears in my eyes once more, but I didn't mind them, I was crying for a totally different reason now. His thumb gently brushed them away, leaving my skin lingering for his touch.

"Inuyasha… I…" I couldn't form any words. I felt like I didn't have a tongue, like I've never spoken before. For mere moments I even forgot how to breathe.

"I missed you, Kagome." His voice was so clear and soft. His amber eyes were so clear and serene… I could feel my knees getting weak; I was practically melting under his gaze.

I didn't need more. Acting on pure instinct and rush of mixed emotions I leaned on my tip toes, capturing his lips into a kiss. He was surprised, and I couldn't blame him. I was surprised at my own actions. His lips moved slowly and gently against mine and I relaxed and I melted at his touch. He kept me close to his body as I gripped his haori with both my hands.

He took me under a tree and covered me with his haori. I snuggled into his chest and he placed an arm around me. I glanced up at him with innocent eyes. He smiled and leaned down only to capture my lips into another kiss. He was teasing me, as he pulled away just as quickly. He kissed my forehead, then my ear. He stopped there, leaning his head against mine.

"I love you…" his husky voice sent shivers in my body. I couldn't believe it. His words struck me like an arrow. He loved me too, it was way too good to be true yet it was happening. I was there, in his arms, and he just whispered his heart's words in my ear.

"I love you too…" the words slipped off my tongue with ease, as if I told him before, like it was the most natural thing in the world. To me, it was now.

His lips lingered on my ear, before leaning down and capturing my own lips in another kiss. It was slow, yet innocent. I never thought I'd see him again, but there I was, snuggled into his arms, seeking the warmth of his body.

The scattered pieces of my soul were finally back together. The man who shattered them brought them into a whole once more. My first love, my first kiss, my first 'I love you'… he was my first in everything, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I would never be the person I once was, I matured, I changed. The wounds I had would never really heal, mom was right, they leave scars, but those scars are forgotten when I am in his arms. Everything changed in the flash of a second, everything struck in front of my eyes.

"I'm never leaving again, I promise…" his voice soothed me, as if he knew what I was thinking.

"I'm not going anywhere either…" I whispered just as softly, glancing into his amber eyes.

My fingers brush away a few strains of his silver hair. He catches my hand and kisses the back of it, not taking his eyes off me. I loved him and he loved me, we completed each other and we were nothing without each other.

My life certainly took an unexpected turn four years ago. I fell into the well; I battled with monsters for over a year, falling for him, hard. I fell for the half demon nobody cared for and changed his vision on the world. We were separated and then brought back together once more. I never even dreamed of having to leave my family for ever. It hurts but it was the right thing for me. I wouldn't change the course of my life, not even one bit.

He kissed my neck and I leaned against him, closing my eyes.

"What are you thinking about?"

"You." I said in a voice just a little above a whisper.

He grinned like he usually did and I merely glanced at him. I captured his lips in a chased kiss, teasing him. It was like a routine, I liked teasing him and he liked teasing me. We were just like two kids sometimes, getting on each others nerves, yelling like there's no tomorrow and five minutes later, we were all lovey-dovey. That's how things work and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Come here you…" he growled with a smirk and kissed me, pushing me against his chest.

I smiled. Here we go again…

* * *

**Thanks you very much for reading. This is my first attempt at writing a fanfiction in the Inuyasha category, as I said. I hope I did okay. Feedback is greatly appreciated! I'd really love to hear what you think! I am sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and if some parts of the story were crappy (I'm worried about the ending...). I hope you enjoyed though! ^^  
**


End file.
